


peace of mind

by rebeltenrose



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, How Do I Tag, Post TLJ, Rated M for, Which is Understandable, and rey being thirsty, bath shenanigans, mentions of nudity, smut-free unless i write a part 2... we shall see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16321151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeltenrose/pseuds/rebeltenrose
Summary: She longed for peace. It was a laughable dream. Peace? In a time of war? Who could be so naïve to wish such a thing?





	peace of mind

**Author's Note:**

> so i just want to remind everyone that i’m not an author i’m a bsc student who’s drowning in midterms but it’s okay because it’s midnight and i’m wine tipsy and uploading this
> 
> follow me on twitter and tumblr @reallyreylo !! come talk to me i have no friends
> 
> also feel free to leave any constructive criticism i know i suck but i lowkey wanna write a smutty pt 2 ok that’s all ENJOY

She longed for peace. It was a laughable dream. Peace? In a time of war? Who could be so naïve to wish such a thing?

Rey of Jakku could. Rey, who knew little of peace but craved it regardless. Rey, whose peace had previously consisted of a day off from scavenging the wreckage that scattered her home planet. Rey, who found small aliquots of peace on an island of greens, browns, blues, in the middle of uncharted space. Rey, who was currently holed up in a cramped closet in the Falcon needing a moment alone. 

Returning to the Resistance was nothing short of overwhelming. She was greeted with awestruck gazes, of faces she had never seen before, but who seemed to know everything about her. Gasped thank you’s through tears, grasped hands and strong gripped handshakes. Compliments and questions thrown her way lead to a muttered apology before quickly excusing herself from the crowded main area of the freighter. 

Gasping for breath, Rey rested her forehead against a shelving unit to her right and let it take some of her weight. She felt as if she had not slept for years, as if she had been awake for millennia. She was suddenly thankful that Chewie was able to pilot the ship through hyperspace without her. As much as she enjoyed the wookiee’s company, she was glad for the brief silence. The brief peace. She relaxed into the solid metal weight under her fingertips and breathed, letting herself connect with the Force. It instantly soothed her exhausted and anxious mind. This was enough for now. 

Rey stood up straight and squared her shoulders, ready to face the onslaught of questioning faces. Though she wasn’t ready to reveal everything, she would tell those who asked what they wanted to know- what they needed to hear. 

She would be what they needed her to be. This wasn’t her war. But she would fight for the ones she cares about. 

~

They travelled for what felt like an eternity. The ship was thankfully supplied with enough rations to feed the Resistance (and more) for at least a few months. They didn’t need that long.

After 5 long days, 5 sleepless nights, Rey once again met solid ground. She let the feeling of fresh air flow over her, and she inhaled deeply. The kaleidoscope of flowers welcomed her as they stepped off the landing platform and made their way down the stone grey pathway and towards what Rey presumed to be an abandoned base from the days of the Empire. 

Leia didn’t correct her. The former Alderaanian princess only smirked and told her that a certain Naboo queen owed her a favour. Rey shrugged- she would take whatever answers she could get. 

General Organa dropped her shoulders and led the way, seeming to radiate confidence. But Rey knew better. The woman’s force signature was wavering, and overcome with grief and loss. She had lost almost everyone she had cared for. Chewie was her last friend, the only one who understood what she had gone through. The only other person in the galaxy was gone. Alive, but never coming home. Lost. 

Rey felt an echo of the same loss within herself. ‘Can you lose someone you never had?’ she wondered silently. No one answered. 

~

The exterior of the base was fully armoured and equipped with turrets, offering some protection. The inhabitants hoped they wouldn’t need guns or reinforced steel walls, but they knew better. 

The base itself was designed to support hundreds, perhaps a thousand people. The small band of rebels barely made a dent in the number of living quarters situated along the edge of the base, and chairs in the dining area in the centre block. There were half a dozen larger living quarters, designed for captains, admirals and commanders who needed the living space to plan and prepare.Instead of the standard cot, chair, small desk, and mini fresher, it contained a double bed, a larger table with a few chairs, a small lounge area for meetings, a kitchenette and a larger fresher with a bath rather than a sonic shower. However, Leia insisted that Rey get first dibs on any of the rooms. 

“General, truly, I don’t need all this room. I won’t know what to do with myself. Just stick me in a quiet cupboard somewhere and I’ll be more than happy. Thankful, even.”

“Rey,” she sighed, “you deserve this. We’re only alive because of you. You saved everyone’s asses on Crait- so believe me when I say this is the least we can do for you. So pick a damn room, and take a few days off to rest and recover. However long you need. The First Order aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

Though Rey knew Leia was right, she begrudgingly chose the smallest room the stubborn General would let her, leaving her across the hall from her. Poe occupied the room next to Leia and Finn and Rose, to Rey’s surprise, were in the room next to her. 

(She didn’t have to ask why they were sharing a room. She has eyes after all.)

That night, after everybody had settled, Poe had decided a small gathering was in order. To thank the new symbol of the Rebellion. To the future. 

Rey slipped out the first chance she got, feigning a headache. It’s not that she was lying, just... exaggerating slightly. It seemed the party continued even without her presence. She was glad. They all deserved a break, too. As she strolled through the corridors towards her quarters, she took a moment to mourn those who had died fighting for peace and fairness in the galaxy. They had taken heavy losses the past week or so- she could tell by the sheer difference in numbers between D’Qar and now. 

Rey approached the door to her quarters. She typed in the four digit code and swiftly entered the room, letting out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding, as she closed the door. 

She wasn’t used to being around this many people at once for an extended period of time. Rey was convinced she would lose her mind on the almost week-long journey from Crait. Scrap metal found scorching heat, and etched tally marks on the inside of her AT-AT were once her only companions. 

Not quite ready to succumb to sleep for the night, Rey stretched her long limbs, pondering something to do. Her eyes were quickly drawn to the large fresher that occupied a corner of her large neutral-toned room. 

Rey smiled. Leia had told her to relax after all. (Well, she said to rest and recover. But Rey took that to mean relax)

Soft footfalls echoed throughout the over-sized quarters as she made her way to the fully stocked refresher. She’d have to thank someone for the room later, but for now she was going to make the most of the large circular bath occupying the middle of the fresher. Flicking through the aromatic options on the panel on the side - relaxing, healing, sleeping, arousing, revitalising - Rey decided that she couldn’t make her mind up and so chose them all. 

Once the ivory tub began to fill itself, Rey slowly began to remove her clothing piece by piece. Shoes untied, tunic shrugged off, pants stepped out of, breast and arm bands untied, and underwear slid down freckled tan legs. She turned to regard herself in the full length mirror to her left. She had never appreciated her appreatance before. Never had the time nor reason to. But now she did. As she released her hair from its half-updo, she trailed her eyes along her lean form. Freckles and moles dotted across her body and so she began to count them, before losing track at 87. Her hands trailed up and down her smooth abdomen, catching on her pert breasts. The sensation was new to her, though not unpleasant. She stood for a second and slowly circled her nipples, peaked from the chill air of the room.The harsh beeps of the now-filled bath quickly snapped her out of her reverie, and she clambered to get in. 

A long moan left her soft lips as she lowered herself into the steaming hot water. It was a luxury she was never able to afford on Jakku. The bubbles covered the top of the water so that the only visible part of her was of the skin above her shoulders. Leaning back against the edge of the tub, she knew this was the closest that she would be able to get to peace on the secluded base. 

Rey drifted in and out of consciousness, the smells both relaxing her and lulling her into a deep sleep. She fought it as best she could, not wanting to miss a moment of this new experience. She had never felt so clean in her entire life, she definitely was not getting out any time soon. 

Rey’s eyes were once again closed when she noticed it. Goosebumps. Raised hair on the back of her neck. Complete silence other than the sound of her own breath.. and another’s.

Her eyes instantly snapped open, leaving her gaping at the hulking figure occupying the section of the bath across from her. His broad shoulders seemed even larger in this confined space than when she had seen him like this last - sensually telling her to let the past die. Deep brown met hazel as their gazes locked. Too stunned to move or say anything, they seemed at an impasse. Until he broke the tense silence. 

“You shouldn’t be here. Snoke is dead, why isn’t the bond?” his voice was low and commanding, just as she had remembered. His dark eyes travelled across her face and down to the water level. She blushed under his intense gaze but didn’t back down.

“Is that rhetorical because I honestly can’t tell with you” Rey quipped, relieved that her voice managed to remain steady. She had not let him see her conflicted emotions seeing him again. Not yet anyway. “Why now, of all kriffing times? I swear the Force is only here to make me suffer.”

Rey thought she heard a sharp exhaled laugh from him, but it was so quick that she convinced herself she must have imagined it. “I don’t want to fight. Especially not now, when we’re both naked as the day we were born.” he muttered quietly, now avoiding her eyeline. Her eyes widened in realisation and her cheeks burned even more, now in shame. Why did it take her that long to realise? Of course he’s unclothed, she can see the trail of the scar she left him on Starkiller. She was now suddenly aware of his legs surrounding hers, almost caging her in. Her breath hitched and her core clenched in the realisation that if she stretched her legs out, just a little, she would come into contact with-

“There’s no need to fight. Just don’t decapitate me while I bathe and we can pretend this never happened.” She joked and tried to make light of the situation. She vaguely wondered if she had ever felt this awkward in any other situation she had ever experienced. 

Her traitorous heart reminds her that perhaps, if she’d said yes, she could be sat next to him, instead of across from him- half a galaxy away. 

“Just like you’re pretending right now that you’re not reconsidering my offer?” Rey pressed her lips into a thin line, unamused. He shrugged and continued, “Don’t look at me like that, you think too loud for your own good. It’s not my fault you’re practically screaming it at me.”

Rey huffed and muttered “Yeah well I’d rather you didn’t go digging around in my brain again, thanks. It was bad enough the last time. At least now I know what to look out for.” She didn’t expect him to flinch at the memory, but decided not to call him out on it. It was times like these where she thought she got a glimpse of Ben Solo, and suddenly she knew she would put herself in danger once again if it meant there was a chance to bring him home.

Kylo looked down and sighed, and she saw for the first time how exhausted he looked too. “I wish we had time.” 

“Yeah, me too.” she echoed his words from an eternity ago. She had something to say, and she knew if she didn’t say it now then she never would. “I think... in another lifetime we would’ve been friends.” His eyes caught hers again, and at his raised eyebrow she continued “I mean, been on the same side at least. I see a lot of myself in you and I know it should scare me, but... it’s comforting. It would’ve been nice to meet you under different circumstances.”

His mouth lifted slightly at the corner at her words. Rey could almost see the gears in his head turning as he sat there, mulling over her words. She was worried he wasn’t going to reply when she hears him slowly admit “I didn’t want to be Supreme Leader. I just wanted you to stay.”

She was taken aback at his words. Maybe he felt the same, that this unspoken thing she felt towards him was mutual? “I didn’t want the galaxy, Ben. I just wanted you.” she whispered, hoping she was loud enough for him to hear. 

He leaned forward and she was once again made aware of his sheer size. What was he doing? Kriff, was he going to kiss her? She’s trying to remember the last time she brushed her teeth when he tucks a stray hair behind her ear and rests his forehead against her own. 

She breathes a deep sigh and smiles contentedly.

And for perhaps the first time, Rey knows peace.


End file.
